Loneliness

SCRIPTURE: 1 Kings 19:1-18 (ESV)

DATE: 4-19-20

I want to welcome all of you who are joining us online this weekend. And one thing I want all of you to know is that God loves you and I love you too. 

SERIES INTRODUCTION

And we’re beginning a new preaching series today. And this series was originally something I had planned for later on in the year — but given our circumstances — it seemed appropriate to move some things around on the preaching calendar. So over the next four weeks, we’re going to look at the emotions of loneliness, emptiness, anxiousness, and depression. And my goal is for us to find some help and guidance from the Bible as these are emotions that all of us — to some degree or another — are all experiencing during this global pandemic and — for many of us — we’ll continue to experience these emotions even once we’re able to resume life in a “non-social distancing — you don’t have to stay at home all of the time” kind of way.

And we’re going to begin this series by examining the emotion of loneliness. 

ANNOUNCE THE TEXT

So if you have your Bible please turn with me to the book of First Kings. We’ll be in chapter 19 looking at verses 1-18.  

We’re going to examine the emotion of loneliness by looking at a moment in the life of a man named Elijah. Now to set up our verses — in First Kings 19 — you need to know some things about Elijah and his story.

Just prior to our chapter — so this is one chapter before — chapter 18 — we read of a great showdown between Elijah — the prophet of God — and the prophets of Baal — a false god. The setting is on Mount Carmel. And this is one of the great Old Testament stories — the kids really love this one. Elijah tells the prophets of Baal that, “We’re going to have a showdown to determine who serves the true God.” And here’s how they would determine which is the real God. They would prepare a sacrifice on an altar and the God who sends down fire from Heaven will be the winner. 

So Elijah — with great confidence — lets the Baal prophets go first. And they get everything ready. And they spend most of the day dancing and doing all kinds of rituals to try and get their god to send fire down from Heaven. And at one point, Elijah gets a little cocky and tells them that maybe their god is sleeping and they need to shout louder to wake him up. But you can probably guess that nothing happens.

And then it’s Elijah’s turn. And he decides to raise the stakes. He doesn’t want there to be any doubt about whose God is the true God. So he gets the altar ready. And he has a trench dug around the altar. And he has folks bring a whole bunch of water and drench the altar and everything on it — all of the wood — the animal sacrifice — water is filling the trench and running everywhere. 

And then Elijah prays, ““O Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, prove today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant. Prove that I have done all this at your command. 37 O Lord, answer me! Answer me so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God and that you have brought them back to yourself.” 38 Immediately the fire of the Lord flashed down from heaven and burned up the young bull, the wood, the stones, and the dust. It even licked up all the water in the trench! 39 And when all the people saw it, they fell face down on the ground and cried out, “The Lord — he is God! Yes, the Lord is God!” (1 Kings 18:36b-39 NLT)

God proves that he — not Baal — is the One true God. 

Now the king of Israel’s wife — who we’ll meet in a moment — well — she hates Elijah — and if she wanted him dead before — she wants him deader than dead now.

RE-ANNOUNCE AND READ THE TEXT

Which leads us to the words found in First Kings chapter 19 — beginning in verse 1

Ahab (that’s the king) told Jezebel (his wife) all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” (In plain English — she just said, “Elijah, I want you dead.”) 3 Then he (that’s Elijah) was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” 6 And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 8 And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God. 9 There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he (so this is God speaking) said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 10 He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” 11 And he (God again) said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 14 He said (and this will sound familiar because this is what he just said a moment ago…), “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” 15 And the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. 16 And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place. 17 And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death. 18 Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” (1 Kings 19:1-18 ESV)

SERMON INTRODUCTION

So in our country, we’ve basically seen two responses to the pandemic. There have been those who have pretty much ignored the CDC guidelines concerning COVID-19 — thankfully this group has grown smaller. Now the best of this group did so because they didn’t want to be driven by fear — that’s group one. And then there are others who have become obsessed with COVID-19 — making sure they follow every guideline to the “T.” And the best of this group did so because they didn’t want to endanger themselves or others.

Now there’s something to be affirmed in both of these positions. We don’t want to be driven by fear and we do want to practice loving our neighbors — especially those who are vulnerable — by doing our best to not spread the virus.

However, both of these positions have their faults. Mainly because most of us think we’re somewhere in the middle. No one’s admitting that they’re at the extremes — meaning — none of us think we’re just flat out ignoring the CDC guidelines nor are many of us willing to admit that we’re being driven by fear alone. And I do think that more and more of us have seen that social distancing has been the best way to get through this pandemic — the whole “flattening the curve” goal we have has been working. 

But where the gospel speaks to our current situation is by its encouragement to not be driven by fear and it’s commandment to love our neighbor. The gospel shows us our responsibility to love others by practicing social distancing — yet — at the same time we do so while being confident that God is with us and is in control of all things — including the coronavirus. But what I want to speak to is how all of us are experiencing the emotion of loneliness — to some degree or another — because of our circumstances. 

Loneliness — it’s been described like sitting on a hill — looking out into the distance — but not being able to see much because there’s a cloud of fog that keeps you from seeing what’s out on the horizon. And that’s what the future has felt like for many of us — every day is kind of the same. We’re all Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day. “What are you doing tomorrow” is pretty much a pointless question these days.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they’re watching their whole world far apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.” Many of our worlds have been falling apart. Loss of jobs. Loss of retirement funds. Vacations and trips canceled. Uncertainties about graduations and other significant moments for our students. All we’ve been able to do is watch as things seem to fall apart.

And then — for many people — maybe this is you — you were lonely before the pandemic. 

  • The spouse in a marriage that leaves you lonely. 
  • A child whose parent has been so focused on work that you’re left feeling all alone — almost like you’re an orphan. 
  • I think of the elderly who — for multiple reasons — were already living a stay at home ordered kind of life. For many of us — this stay at home life is new — but for some folks — this is every day. And hopefully this time builds a sense of compassion among us for those whose lives haven’t changed much because of the stay at home order and won’t change much after the order is lifted. 

But because of the situation going on in our world, many many more people are suffering from loneliness in a way they’ve never experienced before. And I want to offer all of us some hope in these lonely days. Especially given the fact that we’re not really sure how much longer all of this is going to go on. Yes — we’re seeing some signs of hope — what appears to be light at the end of the tunnel — but we don’t know how long we’re doing this.

One last group I want to speak to before we go back to Elijah’s story. Maybe you don’t think you’re experiencing loneliness — maybe that’s true or maybe you’re not being honest with yourself — I don’t know. But even if you’re not experiencing loneliness, you probably know some people who are. And today I want to encourage you with some ways that you can reach out and be a support to those in your life who are struggling with loneliness.

So let’s go back to this moment in Elijah’s life and see what we can learn about our situation and find some help for our loneliness. 

FEAR LEADS TO ISOLATION

And the first thing we see is this — we see that fear can lead to isolation. Fear — now it doesn’t have to — but it can lead to isolation. Let me show you this in Elijah’s story. Back to verse 1.

Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” 3 Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. (1 Kings 19:1-5a ESV)

Elijah’s fear led to his isolation. And his isolation led — to what many see as — depression — another emotion some of us are experiencing. And this time of physical isolation has led to some of us being more prone to sickness — and I don’t mean COVID-19 sickness — our bodies are just reacting to the isolation in some physical ways — depression being one of them — which we’ll look at in a few weeks.

But Elijah’s fear of Jezebel caused him to run. And once he stopped running — he was all alone — and he wanted to die. Which — honestly — it’s kind of ironic. He wants to die — just not at the hands of Jezebel. And for some of us — that’s what all of this feels like — this isolation — social distancing — it feels like death. 

Maybe this time feels like death to you because you so love to help others and — right now — you can’t help in the ways you’re used to helping. Or maybe — due to their own fears — you’re experiencing people reject your help. And you’re feeling unwanted — maybe even unloved. First, thank you for reaching out to others. We need people like you — wonderful servants — who care about others. But know that your value isn’t based on what you can or can’t do for others — your value comes from God. And — through your faith in Christ — he looks at you and sees a son or daughter whom he loves. 

So keep reaching out to others. Go to our COVID-19 page and sign up to help — we’ll point you to folks who can use your help. But most importantly — don’t forget to let others help you. Who are you letting check in on how you’re doing?

And to show you that this goes for everyone — myself included — there’s a staff member here at Gateway who makes sure to ask me a few times a week “Josh, how are you doing?” Because we all need to be checking in with each other and allowing others to check in on how we’re doing.

But Elijah’s fear led to his isolation. And similarly — our fear can lead us into isolation. 

And though Elijah seems to be done with being a prophet — God’s not done with him. 

PHYSICAL ISOLATION BLURS INTO SPIRITUAL ISOLATION

Which leads us to the second thing we learn from Elijah’s story — that physical isolation can blur into spiritual isolation. Often we allow our physical loneliness to convince us that we’re spiritually all alone. Let’s see this in Elijah’s life first. We’re in the last half of verse 5.

And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” 6 And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 8 And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God. 9 There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 10 He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” 11 And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 14 He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” 15 And the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. 16 And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place. 17 And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death. 18 Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” (1 Kings 19:5b-18 ESV)

So Elijah’s physical isolation made him think that he was spiritually isolated. And this is something quite common — where we allow our physical loneliness — which is a powerful emotion — to cause us to believe that we’re spiritually isolated and all alone.

Now there are a few things that we learn from this part of Elijah’s struggle. One thing we learn is that the idea of God being some sort of distant judge up in the sky who’s out to get people — well — that doesn’t really align with the picture of God we have here. Here we see God acting like a loving, patient parent who comes alongside his prophet who’s in a difficult season of life. And this is who God is. He’s a loving and patient Father who comes alongside his children when they’re in a difficult season of life. He doesn’t abandon us. He doesn’t leave us all alone. He is always present with us — we just need to be watching for him — and listening for his voice.

But for others of us, this whole pandemic situation has just made you angry. You like to be in control and this whole situation has taken every bit of control — you thought you had — out of your hands. And why this is so frustrating or scary or whatever emotion it is that you’re feeling — well you’re feeling that way because you feel vulnerable because you have no control. But you must remember that Elijah’s God is your God — if you believe. He is the God who doesn’t betray his people. He doesn’t abandon them. He reassures them that they are not alone even when they’re in a cave all by themselves way out in the middle of nowhere. And God is wanting you to be reassured — right now — that you are not alone — even if you’re cooped up in your house all by yourself. He is there with you. 

So regardless if you’re angry — because of this whole situation — or if you’re depressed — and Elijah definitely shows a lot of signs of depression in addition to his loneliness — or if you’re anxious — regardless of what you’re feeling — here are some questions for you. 

  • Do you believe that God is with you? 
  • Are you allowing your physical isolation to convince you that you’re spiritually all alone?

And one last question — that’s a bit different. What is God commissioning you to do in these potentially lonely days? 

We didn’t read the rest of Elijah’s story, but after this conversation with God — Elijah gets up — and continues the work God had for him to do. What work does God have for you to do? 

And I know some of us would love for God to speak to us — maybe not with the strong winds, earthquakes, and fires — but we’d love to hear God whisper to us — “Here’s what you’re to do.” Well — you may not get that whisper — but you’ve got his Word. And do you know what this book tells you? It says, “You’ve still got plenty to do.”

WHY WE ARE NEVER ALONE

And we have to acknowledge that this kind of thinking — that we’re all alone — this thinking is an enemy of the gospel. This is what happens when we allow fear and our circumstances to drive our thinking — even our theology — more than God’s promises to us in his Word — we end up believing lies. But here’s why this kind of thinking — that you’re all alone — is an enemy of the gospel.

Just before he was betrayed — by Judas Iscariot — Jesus cleared up some things for his disciples — and they were still kind of confused — but they thought they were finally understanding what Jesus was about to do and why he was going to do it. And this is what we read in John’s gospel. 

Then his disciples said, “At last you are speaking plainly and not figuratively. 30 Now we understand that you know everything, and there’s no need to question you. From this we believe that you came from God.” 31 Jesus asked, “Do you finally believe? 32 But the time is coming — indeed it’s here now — when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. 33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:29-33 NLT)

Jesus tells his disciples that they’re all going to abandon him — leaving him all alone. But — he won’t be alone. Why? Because his Father will be with him. Yet on the cross — in some sense — the Father did leave Jesus all alone as he experienced the punishment for our sins. And here’s what this all means for us.

In the gospel we see that God has chosen to be with us. And he proved his presence to us in sending his Son, Jesus. And Jesus promised us that the Holy Spirit would come and take up residence in us. And just before he left earth, Jesus promised to never leave nor forsake us. So God has promised to be with us — always. And in being with us, he gives us comfort and peace and hope and joy — in knowing — that we are never alone.

And the guarantee of our comfort, peace, hope, and joy — being based on the fact that we’re never alone because God is always with us — the guarantee of all this is that Jesus exchanged places with us on the cross. And on the cross, he not only exchanged places with us in taking on the punishment for our sins — but he also exchanged places with us in our loneliness. Though his disciples promised that they would never leave him — in the end — all of them abandoned Jesus — leaving him all alone. And though we often fret over and feel as if Jesus has left us all alone — we have his promise — paid for in his blood — that he is always with us. 

  • Will we face trials? Jesus said we would. 
  • Will we face sorrows? Jesus said to expect them. 
  • But we are to take heart — why? Because Jesus has overcome the world. 
  • He has guaranteed that we will be victorious over our trials and sorrows — and even victorious over our loneliness — because he took our place so we can experience the spoils of his victory.

CONCLUSION

So in this time of social distancing and forced physical loneliness — remember you are not alone. God is with you. And we — his people — are with you too. And know that God is preserving for himself worshippers — in these days — just like he was preserving for himself worshippers in Elijah’s day. 

Remember — God is with you. You are not alone. So intentionally take this time to be present with him. And take time to be present with others. Let’s pray. 

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, thank you for your promises to us. The promise of your presence — to always be with us — to never abandon us — is an amazing gift you’ve given to us. It’s a gift we don’t deserve. A gift we could never earn. A gift — if we’re honest — we often doubt. But our doubt doesn’t make your promise any less true. What a wonderful gift even that is. That you are true to your promises to us even when we doubt.

Jesus, thank you for exchanging places with us on the cross. Not only did you take our place in paying the penalty for our sin, but you took our place in our loneliness. You experienced abandonment. You experienced everyone walking away from you — denying that they even knew you. You experienced loneliness so that we could experience your presence — always. 

Spirit, help us to take advantage of the time we have to be present with you. To not only remember that you are present, but to experience your presence through the Word and through prayer. Lead us towards a stronger assurance that you are always with us — that we are never alone. And even when we experience loneliness — may we know that you are present — to comfort us and to give us hope. And we pray all of this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

BENEDICTION 

May you go knowing and experiencing the presence of God in your life — for he has promised to always be with you. Amen.

God loves you. I love you. You are sent.