SCRIPTURE: Genesis 2:18 (NLT); Ephesians 5:22-33 (ESV)
DATE: 1-28-18
It’s good to be with all of you at Gateway Church this weekend. And one thing I want you to know — and it doesn’t matter if it’s your first time with us or if you’re worshiping at our North Main campus — one thing I want you to know is that God loves you and I love you too.
SERIES INTRODUCTION
We’re in the final week of our series “Under God?” And before we jump in today’s sermon — let me tell you about what’s coming up over the next few weeks. For the next two weeks, you’ll be hearing from your campus pastors — Pastors Ben and Mike will be preaching live at their campuses for the next two weeks. And while you’re hearing from them, I’ll be overseas.
We’re a “going” church and it’s important for me to model what it means to “go.” And our Go Team has planned for me to go and meet some missionaries and pastors we’re partnering with — or hope to partner with — in places like Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and Lebanon. And when I get back we’re going to jump in to the gospel of Mark — which I’m pretty excited about — because the gospel of Mark is all about Jesus. So there’s a snapshot of what’s coming up in the next few weeks.
And as I said, we’re wrapping up our “Under God” series today. Over the past few weeks we’ve been taking a close look at the words in our nation’s pledge of allegiance: “one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
And one thing we’ve observed is that our country isn’t living up to its pledge. We’re not indivisible — we’re a nation divided. Headlines in the news constantly highlight our division as we’ve divided ourselves by just about every way imaginable. Political parties, genders, socio-economic brackets, educational backgrounds, the color of our skin — you name it — we divide over it — we’re a nation divided.
And though we say we want liberty and justice for all — not every person in our nation experiences liberty and justice. And my goal has been to bring to our attention God’s view on these divisive topics.
Because all followers of Jesus must have a stronger allegiance to Him than to a political party — and what God has said on any issue should be what you say on the issue. Not only when God agrees with your political party — but even more so when God disagrees with your political party.
Three weeks ago, we began by looking at who this God is that we’re to be under and why His view on anything should matter most to us.
So if you’re just joining us, know that I won’t be taking time to defend why beginning with God is the best place to begin when it comes to addressing these issues. If you disagree with my starting point — that we must begin with God — I’d encourage you to go watch the first sermon in this series on our website or app so you better understand where I’m coming from.
Two weeks ago, we looked at God’s view of race and why His view should be our view.
Last week, we looked at God’s view of life — we discovered whose life matters to God — and we wrestled with whose life will matter to us.
And today, we’re going to examine God’s view of marriage — another divisive topic in our nation. How does God define marriage and why should His definition of marriage matter most to us?
ANNOUNCE THE TEXT
But first, let’s begin with God’s Word. If you have your Bible please turn with me to Genesis chapter two. We’ll be looking at verse eighteen.
And, if you’re a guest with us, something we like to do at Gateway is let you ask questions. So if you have a question during the sermon, you can text your question to the number on the handout you were given on your way in or you can submit it on the Gateway app.
TEXT SETTING
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. He creates the stars in the sky, the planets throughout the universe, the mountains and the oceans, the plants and animals. And He creates a man — Adam.
And after creating everything, “God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31a ESV)
And then God rested on the seventh day.
That’s the wide angle lens — the panoramic view — of how everything began. And in Genesis chapter two, we have a zoomed in view — a magnifying glass-like view — of a particular part of God’s creating act.
In verse eighteen — of Genesis chapter two — we read, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good (no matter which campus you’re at say “not good” for me…It is not good…) for the man to be alone.
(So God says…) I will make a helper who is just right (say “just right”…God made the man a helper who was just right…) for him.” (Genesis 2:18 NLT)
A few year ago I began journaling as I read the Bible. But I don’t journal for myself — I journal for my kids. Each of my three children have a notebook that I journal in each week. This one is my son, Caleb’s, journal.
In 2015 — shortly after our Supreme Court redefined marriage for our country — I came across our verse in Genesis chapter two. And here’s what I wrote in Caleb’s journal.
After copying the verse in his journal I wrote, “Caleb, the only thing ‘not good’ in all of creation was Adam being alone. So God made a person who was ‘just right’ for Adam. And God made Eve, a woman.
Caleb, our country has recently made decisions about who is ‘just right’ for each other. Our country no longer follows God’s plan of a man and a woman being ‘just right’ for each other.
And this will have great effect upon the world you will grow up in. Hold fast to God’s Word and His ‘just right’ plan for you and God will bless you in all that you do.”
And then I concluded with this prayer. “Dear God, I ask You to give Caleb an unwavering trust in Your Word. So that what You say is ‘just right’ will be ‘just right’ for Caleb. Amen.”
I wasn’t part of Gateway Church in 2015 when the Supreme Court made its ruling on marriage. After the ruling, our denomination immediately released a statement, which I want to read.
“The Evangelical Presbyterian Church grieves today’s ruling of the Supreme Court, which illustrates the continued disregard for the biblical, traditional, Judeo-Christian values upon which the foundation of our nation was established. As a church, we continue to rest our faith in the sovereign God and the authority of His Holy Word. We pray faithfully for our nation and our leaders as so commanded by Scripture.
We bear no malice toward those with a same-sex attraction; in fact, we love them with the love of Christ. However, as a church we must adhere to the biblical definition of marriage, rather than a cultural one.
We recognize that civil governments adopt policies that do not align with biblical values. However, those policies must never require that people of faith abandon the clear teaching of Scripture, forfeit the right to proclaim those truths, or change their beliefs or practices.”
We’re nearing the three year mark since the Supreme Court’s ruling. At times it feels like not much has changed. And at other times it feels like everything has changed. There are ongoing court cases between business owners and same-sex couples in states around our country. Articles in our local paper — from this past week — indicate that this topic isn’t something we can ignore.
Thus far, no litigation has been brought against a church, but just a few weeks ago — at a meeting — one pastor mentioned that his church was approached by a same sex couple requesting the use of their sanctuary and the services of the pastor to perform their wedding. The church declined, but you never know if or when such a request will result in a church being sued.
But I want to say something extremely important — and I think the recent articles in our local paper are exasperating the issue — especially the “Reader’s Views” that have been published lately — from both sides of the sticker debate. Not all gay and lesbian couples are out to get Christians. I don’t even believe it’s the majority. But — depending on your news source — you may believe otherwise. In fact, I believe that what usually happens to Christians is happening to the gay and lesbian community.
And that’s this. What kind of Christian usually makes the news — who does the media interview? The Christian wacko right? The types who picket funerals of soldiers, yell at people on street corners, and say really hateful things all in the name of Jesus.
And what does the media do? They take the crazies and project them as the poster child for what all Christians are like and — if you’re like me — you’re like “Please no. Please don’t make them the poster child. We’re not all like them.”
But the crazy type Christians are a very small number. They exist, but they’re not the majority. They’re just the loud mouths who make the news and give us Christians a bad name.
And I think something similar happens in our news feeds. Are there gay and lesbians who are “out to get Christians?” Sure there are. But are all gay and lesbians out to get us? Of course not.
Lifeway Research has found that, “Only five percent of non-Christians are antagonistic towards the Christian faith.” Only five percent — and that includes all non-Christians in our country — a much larger number of people — than the gay and lesbian community.
Yet though there’s less antagonism towards Christians than we may think — our country is still very divided over marriage and this division doesn’t appear to be going away any time soon.
According to a Barna group survey, forty-nine percent of Americans support the Supreme Court’s decision. Forty-three percent disagree with the decision. And seven percent don’t know how they feel about the decision. There’s always a danger in sharing statistics like this as the numbers shift up and down all the time.
When asked what kind of impact same sex marriage will have on society, the same survey found that thirty-seven percent believe the decision will impact society positively, while forty percent believe the decision will have a negative impact on society.
The survey also found that forty-three percent of self-identifying Christians favor the ruling.
But when you leave out the “here’s what I claim to be” and get down to those who practice the Christian faith, only twenty-eight percent agree with the Supreme Court’s ruling.
Which means potentially one in four regular attenders of our church favor same sex marriage.
But thankfully, our Christian faith isn’t about who our nation says can marry. Our Christian faith is about Jesus. Who we’ll get to in a moment.
So where do we go from here as a nation? Now I don’t know the future, but I want to share some things that seem to be on the path our nation is headed in regarding the issue of marriage. As our nation refuses to be “Under God” these are some things I can see possibly — let me stress “possibly” — happening that we should prepare for.
I can imagine churches being forced to choose between having tax exempt status by “not violating fundamental national policy” or losing its tax exempt status because it continues to stand for the Christian definition of marriage. Church tax exempt status has been a divisive topic in our nation for quite some time — and with our division over marriage, we may see a favoritism in our country, where — if a church agrees with the government on this issue — they’ll receive benefits not available to churches that oppose the government.
Again — this is just my speculation — but in the times that are upon us — our society seems to be more open to going after any and everyone who disagrees with same sex marriage. And my concern — particularly about the tax exemption — isn’t over churches having to pay taxes — or that Christians will lose their tax deduction — that’s petty stuff to worry about. Here’s my concern.
When a church suddenly has to add a budget item called “taxes” that’s thirty percent or so of it’s overall income, a lot of stuff is gonna to get cut. And most churches have three places where they can cut. Staff, ministry, and missions.
The light bill still has to be paid, but staff can be let go. Ministry can be cut back, but not the mortgage payment. And missionaries can stop being supported, but the cafe had better have coffee.
And if churches — who agree with the government — receive any type of benefit — like keeping their tax exempt status — they won’t have to face these cuts.
And what makes this scary is that we American Christians are so comfortable with our programs and paid staff and our consumeristic church culture — that for many of us — comfort will trump our beliefs. And many will choose to go to the church that still has the slick children’s ministry over the church that can’t afford a slick children’s ministry because it stood for truth — who God says is “just right” for each other.
And the churches who stand for truth, may not have flashy worship services, or youth facilities, or free small group material — they might not even have the building they built brick by brick — but these churches will be filled with saints who’ve sacrificed comfort for the sake of honoring their Lord and His “just right” plan.
And if these days ever come upon us — and I hope they don’t — but if they do — you had better make up your mind which church you will choose to be part of. Don’t wait until the decision must be made. Choose this day whom you will serve? Comfort or Christ.
As my pastor friend shared his experience — of being approached by a same sex couple to do their wedding — it feels like only a matter of time before a church is sued because it won’t allow a same sex marriage to take place in its building. Or we’ll see a church be sued because a same sex couple will ask to use the fellowship hall for their wedding reception. They won’t ask for the wedding to take place on church property — just the reception — or a baby shower for their child — or bridal shower.
Something that seems so innocent to our culture may be the means by which a church finds itself in the courtroom.
Now maybe some of these things happen — maybe they won’t — but with the way things seem to be headed in our country — as we are not a nation “Under God” — as we have abandoned God’s “just right” plan for marriage — these are some challenges I don’t want us to be unprepared for.
And what I want to do now, is take us on a journey where we’ll look at God’s view of marriage. And here’s where I may surprise some of you, disappoint others of you, and hopefully inspire many of you. Because though our nation seems to be most divided because of same sex marriage — I’m going to approach the topic of marriage from an angle you’re probably not expecting — regardless of what you believe about marriage.
And what I want to do is address those of us who follow Jesus — so if you’re not a follower of Jesus — I’m not going to try and convince you of what I say today — I just want to give you an insider’s look in to God’s view of marriage. But I’ve got a favor to ask of you — if you’d say, “I don’t follow Jesus.”
I give you permission to call the church out on what I say today. You’re going to hear what we — Christians — are supposed to believe about marriage and how we’re supposed to be living — and you’ve got permission to call us out if what you see in our marriages doesn’t line up with what you hear today. In fact, do us a favor and don’t let us be hypocrites on this issue, OK?
Bet you never thought you’d hear a pastor tell you that — the congregation never thought they’d hear me tell you that either.
So here we go. Let’s begin with a quote that I love.
“If all the Christians for just one year, would quit looking at porn, would quit smoking weed, would quit having premarital sex, would quit committing adultery, would pay their taxes, and every church just foster one kid — in one year our nation would feel different.”
Here’s the point — this is the angle we’re taking on the topic of marriage. We (followers of Jesus) should be less concerned about the lack of holiness in our society and more focused on the lack of holiness in our church. We should be far less concerned about the lack of holiness in our society — even in regards to marriage — and far more focused on the lack of holiness in our church — especially in regard to our marriages.
The greatest danger for our church is not the sin of unbelievers — the greatest danger for our church is the sin each of us brings into this congregation. Sin that we’re comfortable with. Sin that we’ve justified. Sin that we’re devoted to. Things like gossip and jealousy, pride and prejudices, envy and materialism, addictions and unforgiveness, lying and laziness.
You see — the greatest danger for us is to not live out of the holiness we have because of who we are in Christ. A laziness — on our part — of not working with all of our God given strength to live a holy and pleasing life for the Lord. A comfortability with the things of the world — where we look no different than someone who opposes Jesus – where our marriages look no different than those who don’t follow Jesus.
Where we fail to, “Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, (So you’re to strive — to go after — living a holy life. But why — why are we to work hard at living a holy life? Here’s why…) for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14 NLT)
That’s a warning all of us should press the pause button on and think about.
“If I’ve really believed in Christ and if He’s graciously credited His holiness on my behalf — meaning God considers me to have holiness equal to that of Christ — then God has every right to expect me to live out of the holiness He’s given me.”
That’s what you agree to when you believe in Jesus — when you follow Him. Jesus gives you His holiness — so you are to live a holy life.
And listen — the more extravagant, the more valuable, the more rare the gift is you’ve been given — the more you cherish it, right? The more you honor the gift — if it really means something to you. And if you’re a Christian, you’ve been given Christ’s holiness — you’ve been given an infinitely valuable gift — and you show that you cherish this wonderful gift by working hard at living a holy life.
And in the days we find ourselves in, we should be far less concerned about the lack of holiness in our society and far more concerned about the lack of holiness in our church.
And let me tell you something you may not have considered before. In today’s culture, a holy marriage is an opportunity to be so countercultural that people will be dumbfounded by the way you live.
And that’s been part of our problem. We American Christians have been so “American” that we’ve become indistinguishable from American non-Christians. And this has played out in our marriages and our view of marriage.
Roger Olson — a professor of Christian theology — has made an interesting observation. He believes that most churches in our country will eventually submit to the will of the Supreme Court’s ruling on same sex marriage. That’s a pretty bold statement, right? So why?
Olson believes that most churches will submit to the Supreme Court’s ruling on same sex marriage because most churches have submitted to a previous ruling made by the Supreme Court on marriage. The Supreme Court’s ruling on divorce.
Listen to Olson’s point. “Will they (the American evangelical church) begin to recognize the inconsistency between resisting in this case (same sex marriage) and bowing to court rulings about dissolution of marriages in the past and present? (Please–don’t tell me there are exceptions! I know that.
I’m talking about conservative churches that HAVE come to accept all court sanctioned divorces as legitimate dissolutions of marriage uncritically.) If so, will they recognize what that means for them? That they are permitting a secular government to decide what an institution as sacred as marriage means for them?
American conservative Christianity is at a crossroads; this is a crisis. It wouldn’t be if they had before disentangled their theology of marriage (including divorce) from government decisions, if they had recognized that America is NOT a “Christian nation” and that true Christianity is always, everywhere, a counter cultural remnant, a group of “resident aliens,” a colony of God’s people NOT connected to any state or government.
The issue the Supreme Court ruling raises for conservative Christians is that of cultural accommodation. Have they (conservative Christians) accommodated to American culture so thoroughly that they have little choice but to accommodate to this ruling as well and begin accepting gay unions as valid marriages JUST BECAUSE the voice of American justice has said so?
My prediction is that AT FIRST there will be a lot of huffing and puffing but that BECAUSE they are already so accommodated to Americanism most conservative churches will gradually, without theological reasoning and support, come to accept gay unions as valid marriages.
It will be more than a little ironic if they continue to hold elaborate “God and Country” patriotic worship services around July 4th while resisting what the Supreme Court has decided. My prediction is that they will gradually, in spite of some initial huffing and puffing, accept gay unions as valid marriages BECAUSE they hold elaborate “God and Country” patriotic worship services.”
And — by the way — as long as I’m here we will not be having God and country patriotic worship services. And I’ve gone to war for our country, but there’s only one Person we gather together to worship. And it ain’t Lady Liberty.
But come on — followers of Jesus — doesn’t Olson’s quote shock you?
Can you acknowledge how we — the church — have accommodated to the government’s and culture’s definition of marriage in so many other ways — divorce being one example — that either we must accept same sex marriage OR return to the biblical definition of marriage that we abandoned long before 2015?
Are we so caught up in the American definition of marriage that we can’t even see how far our nation had drifted from God’s definition of marriage long before 2015?
Same sex marriage wasn’t the first step in abandoning God’s definition of marriage for our nation — we had abandoned being “Under God’s” definition of marriage long before same sex marriage was legalized. But we — Christians — were so comfortable with our nation’s definition of marriage — so accommodating to it — that we had confused it with God’s definition.
And — for the record — I’m in favor of returning to God’s view of marriage — because His view of marriage should matter most to us — it’s what we should submit ourselves too — it’s what we should be under. Not our nation’s current view of marriage. Not our nation’s view of marriage prior to the Supreme Court’s ruling — but God’s eternal — holy — perfect — view of marriage should be every follower of Christ’s view of marriage.
So what is God’s view of marriage?
The apostle Paul describes it this way. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)
This is God’s view of marriage. There’s one man and one woman — yes — but there’s love that reflects Christ’s love. And submission that mirrors the church’s submission.
You see, God created marriage to proclaim the gospel.
The man is to Christ as the wife is to the Church. The man’s role in marriage is to represent Christ’s love to His bride. The wife’s role in marriage is to represent the Church’s response to Christ’s love — submission.
This is why marriage is so important to the Christian faith — God created marriage to be a proclamation of the gospel.
And in a marriage with two men — according to Paul you have a marriage of Christ to Christ — because men represent Christ in marriage. And what happens to the Church if Christ is married to Himself and not to her? She goes to Hell.
And in a marriage with two females — you have a marriage of the Church to the Church? And what happens to the Church if she isn’t married to Christ? She goes to Hell.
You see, our primary concern should not be the biological makeup of the two people married together — it’s what the two people in marriage represent — marriage is first and foremost a proclamation of the gospel. Because God created marriage to be a preview of the eternal marriage of His Son — Jesus — to His bride — the Church. And we — the Church — seem to have forgotten this. We’ve focused on secondary issues and have missed God’s point of marriage — it proclaims His Good News.
So here’s one implication of God’s view of marriage for those of us who follow Jesus. We should be less concerned about how our society defines marriage and more focused on our obedience to God’s view of marriage. We should be far less concerned about how our society defines marriage and far more concerned about our obedience to God’s view of marriage.
Marriage was created by God to display the gospel. And if we — Christians — concern ourselves with obeying God’s view of marriage, we would focus on proclaiming the gospel in a way we haven’t done a great job of for many many decades in our marriages.
Our culture is ripe for God-honoring — gospel-proclaiming — marriages. I guarantee that a church full of marriages obedient to God’s view will catch people’s attention. But right now — our marriages aren’t all that compelling — they aren’t attractive — they’re not proclaiming the Good News of God’s gospel.
And as our nation refuses to be “Under God” — we must keep ourselves focused on God’s view of all things — especially His view of marriage.
For our God — who is holy — has created marriage to be a holy proclamation of the gospel. And He’s told us exactly what a holy marriage is to be. One man and one woman — yes. But so much more than that. Marriage is to be a declaration of His Good News — and that takes hard work on our part. Selfless, sacrificial love. Patience and bearing one another’s burdens. And — yes — even submission.
But for those who work hard at living a holy life — one day — one glorious day — we will participate in the marriage that all other marriages hint at. The marriage that is to come. The marriage of Jesus to His bride — the Church. And on that day — if you’ve believed in Christ, repented of your sins, and submitted your life to God — you will experience everlasting joy — pure, everlasting joy in Jesus.
CONCLUSION
I hope this series has been helpful for you — encouraging — stretching — I know it’s been for me. I know I didn’t answer every question or tackle every issue on these topics — there’s so much that could be said — singles I promise to tackle singlehood at some point — but if you thought these sermons were long — you should see the thousands upon thousands of words I had to cut to make the sermons only this long. But we’ll come back to these topics again.
I hope that God has opened your eyes by His Word and Spirit — so you see a bit more clearly the way before us as a church living in a nation that isn’t “Under God.” I hope you’ve been challenged in areas where you may have had a stronger allegiance to a political party than to God.
And above all, I pray that you would grow in the holiness you’ve been given — a gift you did not earn or deserve — a holiness that cost Christ His life. Because holy living will change the way we treat others of different races. Holy living will help us to see every person as someone made in the image of God — whose life matters to Him. And holy living will focus our marriages toward being powerful testimonies of the gospel.
Holy living is a gift — and an obligation — for those who believe in Jesus. Because our God is holy and He has commanded us to be a holy people. Let’s pray.
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, remind us often that Your view on anything is the very best view because You are holy — unimaginably good, wise, and perfect — and Your view is always the best.
So help us — Your people — to submit our views to You — all of them — and allow Your view to be our view on these topics of race, life, and marriage. May we not be lazy with the holiness that is ours because of Christ. May we cherish this gift — that cost Jesus His life — and work hard at living holy lives for You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
BENEDICTION
Our God is holy. And all that He establishes is holy — from race to life to marriage. So be holy — be “Under God” — and go living a holy life for Him. Amen.
God loves you. I love you. You are sent.